When I don’t care, I can play ‘em like a Ken doll. Then make 'em bounce like a basketball. But you make me wanna act like a girl, paint my nails and wear high heels. Yes, you make me so nervous and I just can’t hold your hand.

Kenapa sih harus berusaha ngertiin perasaan orang yang bahkan nggak mau ngertiin kita sedikit pun?

Why are you still being so nice to me?

Hey there, suffering here. I guess other thing that can hurt me bad instead of heart broken now is losing a best friend and not being able to get him back. I'm trying everything I can do just to make us like we used to be. But I guess you've changed. Have I changed, too? I just wanna be friends and all you're doing is sort of putting a wall between us. It's kinda hurt watching you talk and play and go with those who don't even understand you the way I do. But after all you still choose them over me. Funny, huh? Don't I deserve happiness by having my best friend back?

#3 - The Script

Perdana banget denger satu album full. Seenak itu ternyata. Gila.

How could you be so selfish? You never appreciate the things I've done to you. Yes, thank you for understanding me for being so childish sometimes. But don't you think that I've tried to do the same, too? Do you think I don't need to tolerate it when you can't see my efforts? Do you think I don't need to tolerate when you don't like it when I'm with my best friends and now I have to lose them? Do you think I don't need to tolerate when you say something cruel but I keep it to myself because I still want to talk to you? Do you think I need to tolerate admitting that I'm wrong all the time? Do you think I need to tolerate the way you always think that you're right? Do you think I need to tolerate the way you keep asking me to do the same thing yet you don't think why I keep not doing it? Why? Is it because I can't tell it straight to you and rather writing it here? Blame it on me. Blame me for not being able to be like you who can say everything without having any problem.

I love you, though. I'm happy having you. But sometimes I just can't stand it.

Ex-Close-People

Kangen semua. Kangen bisa tau mau ke mana kalo lagi sedih. Kangen bisa tau mau cerita ke siapa kalo lagi seneng. Kangen punya orang yang ngerti banget maunya gue. Kangen punya orang yang mau dicurhatin kapan aja. Kangen gaperlu ngerasa aneh ngeliat orang yang pernah deket banget sama gue tiba-tiba jadi total stranger kalo ketemu di sekolah. Kangen dipeluk kalo lagi cengeng. Kangen diketawain kalo lagi nangis. Kangen dibikin kesel. Kangen ngerasa deket banget sama orang. Kangen banget.

Terus sekarang udah mau pisah masih nggak tau harus apa. Boleh nangis nggak sih?

Bukannya nggak bisa, tapi emang nggak mau tapi pura-pura mau.

Kayanya baru kemaren ikut upacara pertama di SMA. Masih pake putih-biru. Tiba-tiba besok udah upacara terakhir aja ya.

Few Days Left

00.10. Having this I-don't-know-how-to-describe feeling about saying goodbye to my high school moment. Gils jumlah hari berangkat ke sekolah pake status siswa udah bisa diitung pake jari. Literally jari. Kurang dari 10 hari. Terlalu gila. Mau bilang sedih, tapi harus nostalgia dulu baru pas sedihnya.

Eh tapi gue udah pernah nge-post tentang masa-masa indah putih abu-abu gue deh. Intinya adalah gue yang dulu ngerasa nggak bakal bisa nikmatin SMA kaya SMP, pada akhirnya harus bilang sedih udah mau lulus. Iya emang awal masuk SMA berat banget, kakak. Masih cupu, kakak. Nggak punya temen, kakak. Banyak remed, kakak. Tapi ya as the wise man said, hidup itu kaya roda, kadang di bawah kadang di atas. Waktu SMP gue di atas, masuk SMA udah di titik terendah kehidupan kali wkwk. Nggak tau sekarang lagi di atas apa nggak, yang pasti I'm enjoying these moments I'm having. Punya temen-temen sumber gossip, stalker, temen-temen yang otaknya nggak beda jauh kotornya sama tong sampah, semua deh. Even the moment when I made mistake. Gue rasa itu bakal gue kangenin juga nantinya. Ah sial sedih banget wkwk. Banyak banget kejadian-kejadian yang ada di otak gue. Yang gue sendiri bingung gimana caranya nulis di sini.

So after leaving this precious place where we meet and do learn about life, kita bakal sama-sama ngejar mimpi ya. Semoga kita sama-sama bisa dapetin apa yang kita mau ya ke depannya. Amin.

Why do I keep hurting people I love the most? Why do I keep pushing them away? Why can't I do the right thing even once?

Sulit, kakak.

Vin, Mek, kangen wkwkwk.