If only I could wake up and be just the exact person you've always wanted me to be.

That moment when you have a serious mood problem, then people start bothering you. Welcome, tears.

"Broke, this whole thing has been really tough on me and I've tried to act like it hasn't been that tough on me. But the first Sunday, after me and you broke up, it all kind of really hit me. And I think it partially hit me because Sunday was sort of always our day that we would do stuff together, but I didn't have any idea you still cared so much. And, you know, when I saw you crying the other night, that was honestly the worst moment of my life. Let me just try to say some of these things here. It's just... Look, I know that I've caused you a lot of pain. And the funny thing is, all I really want to do is make you happy. I just want to make you smile. Now, I've had a lot of time to think about some of the things that went on. And I know, Brooke, that I don't always do the right thing, or always say the right things, but I am willing to try to do things differently... And I love you... I love you and I'm sorry."

"I don't know much about relationships. I definitely don't know anything about love. I can't believe I talked like I did. I don't. All I want, like in the world, is to just keep talking to you. I wanna know how your day was, where you wanna eat and I wanna argue with you. And I wanna hear all your theories, even the ones that are just completely, you know, wrong. And I know it's not that simple. I don't know. I just think... No, I really believe that if you'd just be willing to continue having this conversation with me, then we can figure the rest out."

Di saat lo baru sadar kalo cinta adalah hal paling nyata sekaligus paling semu yang pernah ada. Di saat lo baru sadar kalo cinta adalah hal paling real sekaligus paling imajiner yang pernah ada. Di saat lo baru sadar kalo cinta adalah hal paling simple sekaligus paling rumit yang pernah ada. Di saat lo tau cinta itu bener-bener ngebingungin tapi lo tetep berusaha buat ngerti.

The Fighter

"...And I'm a fighter."

Half of the people just waitin' to see me fail.
Every time you fall, it's only making your chin strong.
Until the referee rings the bell, until both of your eyes start to swell, until the crowd goes home, what we gonna do, y'all?
Give 'em hell, turn their heads.
Give me scars, give me pain.
Then they'll say of me, "There goes the fighter. Here comes the fighter."
That's what they'll say of me.
"This one's a fighter."
And if I can last thirty rounds, there's no reason you should ever have your head down.

Kenapa di saat kita lagi ketawa, di tempat lain harus ada yang nangis? Katanya kalo kejadian yang saling berlawanan itu biar saling melengkapi. Apa iya harus ada yang sedih dulu baru bisa ada yang seneng? Kenapa kita nggak bisa seneng bareng aja? Apa setiap senyuman harus dibarengi sama pengorbanan yang ngeluarin air mata? Terlalu membingungkan.

You always treat people the way you want. You know you don't do right things yet you keep doing it. You push away people who love you even though they've given everything to you. And when the day come, they go and never come back, it's you the one who's gonna cry and be sorry for yourself. When are you gonna realize that you can never have everything?

"For me, sometimes love is about being cute and stupid together." - BenaBook

Gue belajar bahwa sesuka apa pun kita sama orang, kalo emang nggak cocok, ya nggak bisa dipaksain. Karena pilihannya hanya tiga. Friends, Lover, or nothing.
- BenaBook

"Stay away from my future wife!"
- Finn Hudson to Brody Weston, knowing that Brody cheated on Rachel Berry (Finn's ex-girlfriend), Glee 4 episode 16

How could he say something that sweet when he was extremely mad and in the middle of a fight? How lucky it is to be Rachel <3

I wish you two could get along so that I can have my best friend just like you can have yours, dear.

Kita emang udah jarang sepikiran.

Kita juga udah jarang punya alesan yang sama buat ketawa.

Kita sama-sama nggak peka.

Kita sama-sama nggak tau maunya satu sama lain.

Tapi nggak pernah ngubah fakta kalo gue selalu happy setiap sama lo kok.

Sampah banget kehidupan lo. Kadang ada kadang pergi. Dateng cuma kalo lagi butuh. Tapi nggak ada lo, hidup gue yang kayanya bakal nyampah. Thank you deh ya.

How can I get what I want if I cannot even tell people how I really feel? And how can I tell people my true feeling if I keep lying about it to myself? Because everytime I want to say 'no', all I'm saying is 'yes'. Everytime I want to refuse, I keep accepting. Sucks being me.

So here I am. Standing close to the finish line. Time has passed so fast. And I'm not gonna let myself fail in this almost-done phase.

Thank You, G!

Jam 12.08. Biasanya kalo hari Sabtu gini, jam segini, lagi ada sama anak-anak sekelas. Entah belajar gerakan baru, mikirin lagu, latian formasi, ato apa pun itu buat senam. Sekarang senamnya udah selesai. Balik ke rutinitas biasa. Harus belajar buat UAS hari Senin. Harus belajar buat UAN, SNMPTN, SIMAK, dan ujian mandiri PTN lain. Life's still good kok tapi. Bukan mau bahas UAS, UAN, dan teman-temannya tapi. Senam.

Setiap tahun selalu ada event kecil yang ditunggu-tunggu. Senam kelas buat ujian pratek kelas 12. Sama kaya kelas 12 tahun-tahun sebelumnya, tahun ini giliran angkatan gue yang harus nyiapin segala persenaman itu. Kelas gue termasuk salah satu kelas yang lama banget geraknya. Di saat semua kelas udah nulis tema mereka di e-mail angkatan, kelas gue baru mau bikin tema. Sampe akhirnya tercetus deh tema Carnival.

Gue inget banget pertama kali berusaha mix lagu itu waktu lagi sekolah di tempat lain karna sekolah gue banjir. Susah banget nyari lagu yang bisa di-mix berhubung kemampuan mix lagu kita bener-bener abal. Udah susah-susah dicari lagunya pun akhirnya nggak ada yang dipake wkwkwk. Tapi nggak bete sama sekali kok.

Kalo ceritain detail sampe capek kali gue nulisnya. Pokoknya udah dialamin semua deh. Mulai dari yang adem-adem aja sampe jadinya selek sama kelas lain. Mulai dari seneng banget setiap latihan senam sampe capek latihan terus. Mulai dari yang happy-happy aja sampe sebel-sebelan sama temen sekelas. Semuanya udah dirasain. Poster dicoret-coret, poster dicopot-copot. Gila.

H-1 kelas gue bahkan belum bisa part penting senam. Satu lagu pendinginan baru dipelajari hari H. Property juga belum siap. Gila yang namanya chaos ya chaos banget. Ditambah lagi ternyata kelas gue harus tampil malem banget. Dibilang mau bete ya bete. Tapi harus tetep happy. Udah nggak peduli seberapa sedikit yang bakal nonton, nggak boleh stress.

Terus gue bingung mau ngomong apa. Nggak apa-apa kalo nanti akhirnya belum bisa juara, yang penting yang nonton happy, XII IPA G juga happy. Latiannya nggak sia-sia. Makasih buat tambahan memory SMA-nya, G :-)

@ynnrajagukguk

Pendidikan Kewarganegaraan. Pelajaran yang susah buat dikuasai. Baik teori maupun praktek.

Hello, Pumpkin

I love you :-)

Finalisasi

Dalam nama Tuhan Yesus.

I suppose to be completely happy, don't I? But why can't I? Feels like I've missed something but not sure what it is.

"Everyone keeps asking, 'What's it all about?' I used to be so certain. Now I can't figure out."

Terkadang selain harus mendengarkan perkataan orang lain, kita juga harus tahu apa yang sebenernya kita butuh.
Terkadang kita tidak sehebat yang kita pikir dan itu nggak apa-apa.
Kita tidak harus tahu orang lain butuh kita atau tidak, tapi yang penting kita ada untuk mereka.
- Malam Terakhir Miko

Perdana dateng JJF dengan tujuan nonton Tulus. Pada akhirnya tetep nggak nonton Tulus tapi gue ketemu jodoh gue. Yannick Bovy. Gue bahkan baru tau dia karna mau ke venue Tulus. Thank you, Tulus. Gue yakin ini cuma pertanda kalo gue belom pantes meninggal karna gue cuma boleh mati setelah nonton Tulus. Thank you, JJF 2013. I love you, Bovy. Ini post super nggak banget. Bodo.

"Pokoknya ketemu lo aja sih intinya. Sesebentar apa pun ato seribet apa pun juga yang penting ketemu :-D" Cie.

So I see why you never see my effort. Because things like today are never counted. Because all you see is the days I mess up.