❤

You do do annoying things sometimes.
You do act like a jerk sometimes.
You do ruin my day sometimes.
You do make me mad sometimes.
You do disappoint me sometimes.

But somehow, you never forget to put my smile back whenever I lose it. You're always there when I have no one. I just want you to know that I feel blessed having you as a part-time lover and a full-time best friend. I love you.

No Such Thing

Kinda not sure how to begin this post. Barusan gue buka blog temen gue, dan tiba-tiba gue keinget sama kalimat gue sendiri yang gue kasih ke dia. "There will always be the end of everything, even friendship." Dan sekarang gue menjadi bukti dari kalimat gue sendiri. I lost 2 best friends of mine. Gue bahkan jadi ragu sebenernya definisi best friend itu apa. Sahabat itu apa? Apa iya ada yang namanya mantan sahabat?

Di blog gue, cuma ada 2 orang yang temen gue yang pernah gue bikin masing-masing 1 post. And you know what? Now we're strangers. Entah gimana awalnya jadi kaya gini. I used to be like, so so so close with them. Sekarang kita bahkan belom tentu saling sapa kalo ketemu di sekolah. Sedih? Ya iya. Tapi gue lebih ngerasa aneh. Bikin jadi mikir, ini salah siapa? Ato sebenernya emang nggak ada yang salah?

Inget banget, dulu kehilangan orang-orang yang deket sama gue itu adalah sesuatu yang bener-bener bikin down. Bikin ngerasa gue adalah cuma sendiri. Tapi lama-lama, mikir juga, buat apa temenan kalo nanya "lo kenapa?" itu cuma jadi sebuah rasa ingin tahu, bukan bentuk kepedulian. Buat apa temenan kalo ngobrol itu cuma jadi sebuah rutinitas, bukan sesuatu yang emang pengen dilakuin. Buat apa temenan kalo curhat itu cuma jadi sebuah formalitas, bukna karna emang pengen berbagi. People come and go. Toh they are fine without me, so do I. Selama kita sama-sama seneng tanpa perlu disebut "sahabat", kenapa nggak?

Sekarang gue sadar kalo pertemanan itu masalah nyaman ato nggak nyaman. Kalo udah nggak nyaman, ya cari yang baru. Pinter-pinternya lo aja cari temen. Ya kalo harus kehilangan temen...................gotta deal with it. Best friends forever itu somehow belom pernah gue temuin. Bersyukur aja sekarang punya banyak temen yang bisa diajak cerita, bisa diajak ketawa, bisa dimintain tolong, dll. Selama lo bisa ngerasa nyaman dan bikin temen lo ngerasa nyaman, lebih dari cukup kok.

God sends friends so that you know you're not alone. They may go, but new friends will always come. Be thankful for those who are still there for you.

Btw, ini bukan sesuatu yang bikin gue harus ngerasa sedih banget-banget kok. Cukup sedih-sedihnya. Bukannya nggak merasa memiliki, tapi sedih melulu udah capek. Masih punya Cic, Mike, Anes, DAN BANYAK LAGI :-)

@ynnrajagukguk 

Time Machine

I wish I had a time machine. Trying to go back to the time when things are beautiful. When being happy is so common in my life. When being sad is just another issue. I know I've been here. But I never thought I'd fall into the same hole.

I wish I had a time machine. Back to the time when that stupid thought hadn't come. When that mistake hadn't been done. The mistake I made. The mistake causing me to lose you.

I know we're not perfect. All I know is that I feel happy whenever I'm around you. How stupid I was, once thinking about being happy without you. Well yes, call me a foolish. Call me a jerk, for dumping you and now writing this. Call me a coward for not having any courageous to say even a word to you about this.

I thought being "just friends" is better. But I guess your theory about relationship is true. The only feeling I have now is the insecure feeling, afraid if I have to lose you because of this effin' teenager thing.

I don't know if I have any right to say this. I'm just wishing if I could have a time machine, hoping things would be good. Again.

Pathetic

If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this. All those fairy tales are full of sh*t. One more f*cking love song, I'll be sick.

What if I told you that I still have feelings for you? What if I told you I wouldn't be able seeing you with another girl? But I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with these feelings. No more hurting you. It's like the last thing I would ever do. I guess it's better watching you happy, even I'm not the reason behind it, than you being with me and suffering. I miss you.

@ynnrajagukguk

Hello Randomness

Masih sayang sama Anes loh.....................hahaha yaudah itu aja deh.

Definite Loner

Orang bilang, hidup itu kaya roda. Kadang di atas, kadang di bawah. Adil banget. Nggak akan enak kalo selalu ada di atas, apalagi kalo selalu ada di bawah. Sebenernya ada di bawah itu bukan sesuatu yang harus dipermasalahkan kan. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Tapi beda urusannya kalo lo harus ada di bawah dan lo nggak tau who to count on.

Bukannya nggak punya temen ato gimana sih, tapi kaya di saat lo sedih terus lo ngerasa nggak bisa percaya sama siapa-siapa. Nggak tau mau cerita sama siapa karna lo terlalu merasa insecure. Dan di saat lo sebenernya tau mau cerita sama siapa, orangnya udah jadi orang yang pernah lo kenal. Rasanya aneh. Pengen nangis, tapi nggak mau dibilang cengeng. Pengen marah, tapi mau marah ke siapa. Maunya sih marah ke diri sendiri, tapi percuma.

Semacam feels so alone haha. Ngerasa sepi padahal rame. Lebih sedih daripada sepi karna emang sepi. Cuma pengen ketawa aja kok. Yaudalah ya, orang juga bilang, sedih datengnya sepaket sama seneng. Gue tunggu deh happy part-nya :-)

@ynnrajagukguk

Marry Your Daughter

Sir, I'm a bit nervous
'Bout being here today
Still not real sure what I'm going to say
So bare with me please
If I take up too much of your time
See in this box is a ring for your oldest
She's my everything and all that I know is
It would be such a relief if I knew that we were on the same side
Very soon I'm hoping that I

Can marry your daughter
And make her my wife
I want her to be the only girl that I love for the rest of my life
And give her the best of me 'till the day that I die yeah
I'm gonna marry your princess
And make her my queen
She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen
Can't wait to smile
When she walks down the aisle
On the arm of her father
On the day that I marry your daughter
 
She's been hearing for steps
Since the day that we met (I'm scared to death to think of what would happen if she ever left)
So don't you ever worry about me ever treating her bad
I've got most of my vows done so far (So bring on the better or worse)
And tell death do us part
There's no doubt in my mind
It's time

I'm ready to start
I swear to you with all of my heart

The first time I saw her
I swear I knew that I say I do
I'm gonna marry your daughter

 

one day...............